I had given blood in high school. All the Seniors signed up to go to the Red Cross and give blood. I went because we got lunch and early dismissal. I waited on the corner like Rudy told me to. I always did what he told me. That is how I ended up in Colorado Springs. I had nothing left. I had gone out there with him for a better life. We were living on the street. Sleeping on a bench in Acacia park.

Someone told us we could get twelve dollars for plasma, Rudy did not like needles. He said I could do it. I was so hungry. I felt dirty too. I had a toothbrush and a bar of soap in a baggie in my purse. When I could I would duck into any available bathroom and wash. My grandma would have called it a cat bath. I wished I could go home and see her but she had died a year before.

Rudy had not come back for a really long time. It was starting to get cold and it started to rain so I decided to go on in. I thought for sure he would come looking for me any minute. I went to the window and a red-haired woman wearing green scrubs told me to take a clipboard and pen. Fill out the paperwork and slide it thought the slot in the door. She told me to give her my identification and bring the pen and clipboard back when I was done. She looked at my identification card and said I was a long way from Ohio. I started to respond but her phone rang and she answered.

I took a seat and looked at the glass front doors. It was raining hard outside now and getting darker. I wondered where Rudy had was. I filled out the papers and slid them through the slot. I gave her the clip board and pen and she gave me my identification card. A man came down the hallway and called my name. He had on Green Scrubs too. He was also wearing a lab coat and stethoscope. He led me into a room that was lined with beds. The room was full. People were lying on the beds. I tried not to look.

The man listened to my heart beating and a nurse came and took my blood pressure. The man asked me if I was on anything. I read his name badge. Dr. Ivan Walenski was his name. I told him I was not on anything. He grinned at me and asked me if I was just having a rough time. He asked me where I was from and someone called for the Doctor. He walked away as he told the nurse I was ready. I had put my stuff beside me and she stepped around it. She told me I would feel a little pinch. I fell asleep and she woke me up asking if I was okay. I said I was and she said I was done.  The Doctor ran over with a post it note. He said I was pretty. He said I should call him. I wadded it up and held it in my hand.

I went back to the front to wait for my money. The room was full. I sat next to a guy with long blonde hair and a beard. I talked with him and his friend CJ for a long time. He told me his old lady was back at the motel, her name was Bonita and they were from Pecan Texas. I thought he was cool when he told me they were in a band and were working to make money to go to Seattle. I talked to them until they went in to the back. I watched for Rudy it had stopped raining. The red haired woman called my name. She asked for my identification again and paid me my twelve dollars. She gave me a pamphlet with information about doing it again.

I sat down and waited. I was still there when CJ and Sandy came out. They suggested I go back to the Motel with them, Sandy told me that Bonita could get me a job at the place where she worked. I was worried about Rudy. I told them that and they said I couldn’t just stay there by myself. The place was closing and it was raining again. I decided to go with them. I got in the back seat. Sandy was driving and CJ had an empty plastic bottle of Mountain Dew, He started to playfully hit at Sandy’s head and laughed so hard. I had never seen a plastic pop bottle before, I thought it was funny that they said soda instead of pop too.

I reminded Sandy of his baby sister, I was glad that they liked me. I had told them about my trip to Colorado. I told them that I did not have anywhere to go, I told them about Rudy and that we were homeless. I told them I was getting money to get food. When they asked me why he was not selling plasma too, I told them he was afraid of needles. They just kind of looked at each other and then I spotted Rudy on the street. He had his leather coat pulled over his head and I told them to pull over. They did and they were telling him to get in the car and I was trying to move over so he could see me.

I never thought he would be so angry. He had been thinking about letting me dance at a strip club for money, I didn’t like the idea and neither did he. I thought he would be glad I found help. He gave me an awful look as he got in. I explained that they were really nice and I stuck the twelve dollars in his hand. I introduced them all and CJ and Sandy both told him they wanted to help us both. I told him they said I could get a job. I had applied anywhere that would let me. I found out that all employers wanted an address and phone number. I didn’t have either.

We pulled up to the Motel and got out. Sandy asked if I need to go get my stuff somewhere and I told him I didn’t have any. I told him I had to leave it. I didn’t tell him that Rudy chucked my red suitcase into a dumpster because I was not walking fast enough. I tried to hold Rudy’s hand and he squeezed my finger really hard. I had tears in my eyes and my cheeks kind of stung. I followed them up the steps and across the landing.

It was so cold. Sandy opened the door and held it open, I followed CJ and Rudy in as Sandy told Bonita to fry some more meat for the company. I felt the warm air as I walked in I could smell the steak that Bonita was frying in the little kitchenette. I could see blackness closing in around me, I felt dizzy and my heart was beating really fast. I passed out cold. I had not eaten for three days.


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#poetry   #original Continue reading

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#poetry     #original Continue reading

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Continue reading

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#Poetry #original





A Banshee is an evil wretch

Lives to ruin and souls to fetch

The damned who crave that vile waste

Will gladly dance for just a taste

The Banshee spoils the addicts blood

Mothers tears come as a flood,

Salted, hot torrential rain

Those who love them feel their pain

Mindless, loveless, no willpower,

Scrounging, searching every hour,

Demands unrealistic, evil scourge,

Need to run, need to purge,

Black eyed Harpy , swallows them whole,

No light, no love,  dark wounded soul,

Ripping from the heart each tiny shred,

The lack of endorphins in their head,

The Banshee thrashes, the Banshee screams,

The Banshee has vanquished hopes and dreams,

The Banshee fuels them, they crave a fix,

They have no choice the Banshee picks,

Between those they love and love for her,

She drives them dead, there is no cure,

Leaving them broken, self -loathing, impure,







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Working daylight to dark, work ethic, impeccable.

Holding the notion that anything worth doing, is worth doing well.

Giving all in the work place, the farm, the home.

Manicured lawns, trimmed bushes, gardens with vegetables lined in neat weedless rows.

Flowers planted. Windows gleaming, floors scrubbed, beds made, laundry done, washed, hung, ironed, dried.

Bread baked, vegetables and fruit, dried and canned, jelly and jams made.

Animals fed and barns cleaned. All the while, raising children.

Church every Sunday morning, Sunday and Wednesday night.

Pride in our Soldiers, our Country, our President.

Face washed, teeth brushed, dressed, fresh shirt, pants, or dress, skirt, apron, hair combed, brushed every morning before daylight.

No matter the task ahead. Breakfast on the table. Oats, preserves, toast, coffee.

Ice water from the ice box with every meal.

The dinner table always set, room for any who might pass through.

Cleaning up was a task done right away. Table cleared, dishes washed, dried, put away.

Check books balanced, bills paid, no matter how small, payments made.

Promises and word kept.

A handshake a binding contract.

Abiding by the Ten Commandments.

Early to bed and early to rise.

Never a bad word spoken to or about another.

Tithes paid to church without fail.

Prayers in the morning and prayers at night.

Prayers in joy and prayers in sorrow.

Meals or a hand for a neighbor in need.

Sunday was a day of rest. A day they always wore their best.

Respect of self, of others and elders.

Belief in old ways, morals and values.

An honest days work, an honest wage.

Always thrifty, stamps saved, coupons clipped.

Money saved. Prepared for a rainy day.

Taking only what was needed, not accustomed to greed.

Avidly read the newspaper.

Watched the news at six.

Hee Haw on Saturdays.

Hank Williams was an Icon.

Tax Payers and Voters, American and proud.

My Grandparents.






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punkinin Another prequel to Punkin

Sue McDaniel had worked as a Parent Liaison for twenty-three years at Coltersville Academy. She was responsible for many things, mostly discussing failing grades or poor behavior with the parents who felt their children did no wrong. It must have been another student, a teacher, an aide, someone else. Not their darling Baxley or Harper. No certainly not. She walked the halls during the day and smiled at all the children. Good ones, bad ones, happy ones, sad ones. All of them rich ones.

Sue graduated from Ohio Wesleyan in 1980. She had a degree in education, she studied juvenile behaviors and human relations. She could be teaching somewhere else if she wanted. She did not love her job, nor did she hate it. She did however love her life. She lived up on the mountain. She had inherited the house from her Grandma Langley. The home place had been in the Langley family for generations. She had a huge stone fire place, a wood fired cook stove,and a well that had collapsed. She planned to have some men come and repair the well. Until then she managed by filling up a five gallon bucket every afternoon on the way home.

She would stop at the Way Cross Mountain rest stop. The spigot on the side of the visitors area worked just fine. The Visitors center had been closed for over a year. Sue liked being alone.  She practiced cooking. She cleaned and decorated. She grew vegetables and learned how to can them. She read the books her grandmother left. Learned about herbs and roots. Quilt patterns, candle and soap making. She learned about medicines that could be made from the land. She also read books on modern medicine and psychology.

She was a regular at the library. She was not a christian. She supposed people would call her a Witch if they knew, Even though she had never done anything miraculous. Her spells were sort of natural and scientific. She did not believe in Satan. She knew the Academy would fire her. If they seen her cast a circle. Praying to her “Glorious Goddess of Day and Night”, charging her crystals, burning candles upon which she had carved runes. The Good People at the Academy would never understand. They gathered in the front of the School every day and prayed. Holding hands, they referred to themselves a s prayer warriors. She often wondered. Did they pray for bigger bank accounts? Nicer clothes? bigger homes? She wondered. She also wondered how they had the audacity to line up to apply for scholarships when they all had college funds in the hundreds of thousands.

Sue believed in  “Haves” and “Have Nots”. She considered herself a “Have” but she had grown up a “Have Not”. She had never married. She had been in one relationship in college but it was short lived. Her Mother said “Sue is an odd sort, going to be a spinster” another Aunt had told her she was an “Old Maid”. Her grandmother said “You are interesting enough to keep yourself company little girl, won’t never be a need for no man to tell you what to do.”. She always thought of that. For several years, people thought it their life’s work to find poor single Sue a suitable match. Finally, they realized she did not want one.

Her Sister was the complete opposite. Carrie lived for love. She went from one relationship to another. She had a daughter out-of-wedlock that she named Cheyanne with a boy named Charlie. He wanted to marry her but she had other ideas.Charlie started using drugs and they had an on again off again relationship. Carrie became an addict as well and overdosed when Cheyanne was five.

Cheyanne was raised by her Fraternal grandparents. Sue reached out to them after Carrie died. Sue bought her school clothes, books anything she could. . Cheyanne adjusted to life without her Mother very well and excelled in school. She attended community college and there she met Gerald Longacre and it was love at first sight. They had a darling baby girl with fire-red hair. Everyone called her Punkin.

Gerald fixed copiers. The company he worked for was bought out by a bigger corporation. He was given a cruise for his high productivity. Cheyanne and Gerald were coming day after tomorrow. Sue had taken a two-week vacation and was going to keep little Punkin while they went on the trip.


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